This is a picture of my go-to brownies…
What do brownies have to do with change, you may ask?
It all started back when I was an intern.
At the end of each internship rotation, I brought a tray of brownies to the hospital to thank the RDs for working with me. It was a simple gesture that showed that I appreciated their guidance/support/advice/tutelage over the past couple of weeks. During my internship, brownies symbolized change. They symbolized the ending of one rotation so another could begin. They were the last pieces of the transition puzzle, the last gesture before taking the next step in my dietetics journey.
This week, I will be baking twelve pans of brownies… one for each of the twelve units I have covered in my two hospitals.
Because, ladies and gentlemen, I have a new job.
These past three weeks have been the most emotional weeks of my career to date as a registered dietitian. The interview/job offer process was very quick, leaving me a bit shell-shocked when I received my offer call.
And I never would have imagined the storm of emotions that have been whirling through me since then.
A touch of anxiety.
It is emotional overload over here.
But as I reflect on my biggest career change to date, everything is bittersweet.
I am absolutely over the moon about this job.
I am going to be in one hospital and on one unit. No more shuttling between two different hospitals, juggling two separate sets of polices/procedures, or balancing several different hospital units. I will be working on an unit with more critically ill patients, something I wanted since I did my staff relief in the ICU during internship. I will finally get a desk of my own (!!), soI finally get a “home base” to store all my stuff. And one of my best friends from internship works at the same hospital, so I will have a lunch buddy/a sounding board/a person to commute home with.
But at the same time, I am completely heart-broken.
I have been working at one hospital for 18 months and the other for 12. They have become more than work places… they have become home. And nothing makes a place feel like home more than the people. My people. Through working on a combined total of twelve hospital units, I have met absolutely amazing, wonderful, caring doctors/nurses/dietitians/food service workers/social workers/volunteers/support staff. Each and every person I have worked with has shaped me into the dietitian I am today. They helped my transition to real dietitian work seamless and mostly bump-free. We have shared laughs, tears, frustrations, creative discussions, and triumphs. They are the reason why this transition has been so difficult… I can’t imagine not seeing my people every day. But I know that everything they have taught me has prepared me for this moment.
Change is an amazing, frightening, wonderful thing. It brings opportunities to learn and grow. It will allow me to work towards goals I had set at the end of internship. And it will challenge me in ways that I have never been challenged before.
Change is scary.
Change is exciting.
Change is taking chances.
Change is forcing yourself out of your comfort zone to start achieving your goals.
Change is saying goodbye but knowing that they will always be with you.
Change is chocolate brownies.